Thursday, October 7, 2010

Say What?: Post-Rapture Pet Care

Hire an Atheist to Watch Your Pet After the Rapture:

(not original to, but brought to my attention by The Volokh Conspiracy)

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 24 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life....

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved [I take it that’s not in the theological sense of “saved” –EV]....

Okay, to me this has SCAM written all over it, beyond any tongue-in-cheek interpretations. Presumably, this is a safe gamble for anyone involved on the Earth-Bound end. If no Thessalonian-style Rapture occurs, the money stays there --unless it's like an insurance policy where you can cash it in upon maturity, in which case it's at best a poor investment on your money and EEBP still gets to keep the interest, so again, a scam.

On the other hand, if the saved are all called up at once, who will be around that has standing to file suit for breach-of-contract should said services not be provided, either by malice or by force majeure ("And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; and the stars of heaven fell unto the earth...")

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